Sawadeekrab

I’m back from Bangkok. The last time I was in Bangkok was when there was a Tsunami, so I’m just thoroughly disappointed in the fact that no natural disasters have occurred this time.

The first day, we spent lying around in the hotel and eating in the hotel. This trip has mostly been a quest in finding the best pad thai in the world, so I was eating pad thai everyday for 4 days. I even had pad thai for breakfast.

I didn’t find the best pad thai in the world, but Thailand people (Thailandians?) have the best malls ever. They have a mini Ocean Park in their BASEMENT. Just hidden under the mall, they have tanks with sharks in them. It’s like you and your friends go grab frozen yoghurts at the ice cream shop, then all of a sudden, you’d be like, “Hey! Let’s go feed the sharks and look at the jelly fishes in Ocean World!” But then again, if you’re American, you’re probably going to point out how you guys have ‘Mall of America’ and how there are roller coasters right next to Starbucks.

In the evening, I was watching chick flicks on HBO and this guy comes knocking at the door. My mom is busy in the toilet (she kind of spends half her life in there) and my dad is at the spa, so I get the door. He’s carrying a trolley and he’s asking me something in English or Thailandnese, I don’t know what he was saying anyway. After about 5 minutes of me standing there clueless and going “What?”, he hands me a Daily Activity sheet. Then he asks, “Do you want any ice?” He literally gets a tub of ice out of his trolley and shows me these ice cubes. I just didn’t get it, because what would I want ice for? The first thought that came to mind was maybe the aircons broke, but the A/C was on alright so I say, “For what?” He doesn’t get it so he just keeps trying to hand me this tub of ice and I’m like no thanks. Then he smiles and says okay and I shut the door in the face before he asks if I want his kidney or something.

The day we leave, I’m going through customs and all that. They have a metal detector you have to go through in case you’re carrying weapons. The thing has almost never beeped on me, ever. But it’s still kind of intimidating to be walking through there in case it starts beeping and the police jumps on you for being some kind of terrorist. I walk through, then this thing starts beeping on me. The security looks at me all suspicious-like and tells me to go through again. I go through again and it still beeps. Now they tell me to take off my shoes and go through again. I take off my shoes and it still goes on beeping at me. I feel like I’m in Harold & Kumar.

Eventually they let me go because I’m not a ‘threat’ and they didn’t find anything on me. My mom is laughing and it’s hypocritical of her since she’s been searched loads of times for carrying nail clippers. One time she winked at me because my dad was being searched and they found nail clippers, but my mom was also carrying nail clippers but they didn’t find any in her bag. A fat black woman comes over and tells her to come over to the side. Apparently you’re not supposed to wink at people in the airport, or you could be a terrorizer. The woman frisks her and finds nothing, but gives her the eye anyway. Afterwards my mom was like, “I can’t believe they were manhandling me like that, do I look terrorizing to you?” I was like, “No, maybe she just wanted to feel you up.”