Kelly Clarkson’s Boobs

We are currently learning about body parts in Chinese, including ‘describing’ words to accompany those ‘parts’ if you get my drift. I have a love/hate relationship with Chinese class, the only reason why I love it is because I get good grades and I’m the best out of everyone who sucks.

My Chinese teacher decides to create a powerpoint with pictures of celebrities and describing words under them, then you have to guess what part that word describes. The third slide has a photo of Kelly Clarkson and the Chinese characters for the word “Very Round”.

So she asks us “What part are we describing?” Then she uses her ruler to poke at Kelly Clarkson’s boobs, when in fact, she’s trying to point at her face but can’t reach that far up so she can only get as far as her boobs, which is obviously lower than the face, you don’t need to watch Grey’s Anatomy to figure that out. My Chinese teacher can’t reach that high up because her height is equivalent to that of an oompa loompa.

Everyone goes “KELLY CLARKSON’S BOOBS ARE ROUND!” in English, because I don’t think that anyone is capable of figuring out the Chinese word for boobs. If they were, they wouldn’t be in the Chinese Class for Illiterate Chinese People. It’s not part of our vocabulary list, I think it would come in handy during a test in case they give us a picture of Queen Latifah to describe or something.


oyay, I got an A+

My Chinese teacher’s response to the Kelly Clarkson’s Boobs Are Round statement:

“What? What are boobs?”

They are the things above your uterus, duh.

Physical Education Should Be Deemed Illegal

I’ve never been a very physically orientated person. I run away at the sight of balls, I cower when people run towards me and I can’t run without my face turning purple.

Yesterday, we had P.E. and we played tag, it seems harmless when you think about it, and I thought so too. I was like “Yay! Games!”, but who could predict the violent outcome?

We lined up in a row and we were supposed to run one by one. When it was my turn, I sort of half ran half jogged about one hundred centimetres (I don’t know how to measure in metres, sorry) and this guy who is the catcher just rushes real fast towards me like he’s trying to attack me, I didn’t even know he was that close to me. Then I trip over him because his leg got in my way. Nothing happened to him, but there I was, my entire being collapsing with a loud crack onto the gym floor. My legs were hurting so bad, I was like MY LIFE OVER, IM GONNA BE CRIPPLED, in my head.

So I was sitting there on the gym floor with a bruised hip, ego, arms and legs and feeling physically damaged. Everyone was just STANDING THERE. Even the teacher. No one said anything, even the said retard who tripped me over. After around 10 seconds, the teacher comes over, he spent those first 10 seconds stopping his stopwatch. He walks over slowly and tells me to stand up. I couldn’t, so he helps me. He tells someone to bring me over to the chair, so basically no one was bothered to apart from my friend who helpfully came over, thank god.

My skin pretty much tore off and I was sitting there trying to recollect myself, whilst everyone is running around happily but NOT getting hurt. After 5 minutes, the teacher tells me to participate again. So I’m like “What.” in my head but I don’t want to say anything. I was just thinking, aren’t I supposed to go to the nurse and get the wound cleaned in case of bacterial infection?

Apparently, westerners don’t believe in bacterial infection. Their theory is something along the lines of “GOT AN INJURY? RUN AND GET OVER IT, IT’LL HEAL EVENTUALLY.”

So I hate P.E. and the guy who’s over-obsessive-with-games-and-doesn’t-bother-to-apologize. I haven’t even had an injury in 5 years, I’d prefer if it stayed that way, thanks. Now I can’t walk properly because my hip is somewhat cracked due to my fragile bones and that I’ve had an operation there 2 years ago. I’m pretty much limping now.

I miss last year

We started school yesterday, ‘officially’. The people in my class are kind of randoms from other class. The higher up mixed everyone up so basically no one from my old class is in my new one apart from my friend, which is a relief considering how I know absolutely no one in my new class. No one talks to each other and just sticks to one of their friends. So the whole atmosphere is sort of awkward. Our class used to be really close, so it’s a big difference. The thing is that, everyone is so different, they can’t relate to each other, nor do they bother.

Many teachers have left the school as well. Including my favourite teacher, who I liked because he knew alot about the world and he taught us well. It was one of the few classes where I actually learnt something and enjoyed. A lot of the other classes, I either fell asleep from the boredom or the information comes right in through my ears but doesn’t get into the brain, so it just slips right out the other ear.

Sometimes it feels like you’re growing up too fast, and it’s kind of depressing when that happens. Because I have no idea as to how the future is going to be like and I guess I’m scared of what lies ahead. Some people like growing up because of the freedom but I’m one of those people who enjoy being under the wing of my parents. This is why I hate birthdays, because you’re a year older and that means that you’re just a few years from approaching the age where you’re considered mature enough (like in a literal sense) to be an adult. And, yeah. Like I’d ever carry the responsibilities of an adult. I would hate being treated like an adult when even now as a teenager, everyone outside is treating me like one even though I’m what, like 14. Just because I’m tall doesn’t mean I’m 21 years old, this is a message to the my dad’s friend who gave me his business card thinking that I was eligible to do business with him.

Seriously?

Teenagers usually feel infinite, as if there are no problems in life, but I’m not naive enough to believe that stuff, this is a result of too much Googling. The less you know, the better. I used to talk a lot and embarrass myself because I couldn’t feel embarrassment. Now that I can, I stop talking in order to give the impression that I don’t slip up and that nothing I say will be used against me. Like those people who are like “Oops, I murdered someone. Did I say that out loud?”.

Added a Paisley brush set to the Brushes section.