Happy Birthday to Me

It’s my birthday today! Or maybe it was yesterday. I’m still trying to get the hang of this time difference thing. I’m majorly jet-lagged and I’ve been suffering from insomnia for days. There’s an 11 hour time difference between New York and Hong Kong and my biological clock isn’t adjusting to the madness that is time difference.

When I arrived in New York yesterday morning (or maybe it was the day before yesterday, because frankly, I have no idea what day it is today), I was feeling groggy and disorientated from the 15 hour flight. My limbs were all cramped up from being crammed in a tiny seat for 15 hours. I take back what I said about flights being fun, because they’re far from it. I was listening to The Hunger Games on audiobook in attempt to fall asleep to the monotonous voices. And when I finally managed to succumb to sweet slumber, the audiobook kept on blaring in my head and then I was startled into semi-consciousness. It’s like falling asleep to the television. You’re on the sofa watching Powerpuff Girls and you dose off, but after a few minutes Mojojojo goes “I AM MOJOJOJO” and you wake up to a hypnic jerk and you’re like “HUH? WHAT?!”

The moment I stepped out of that airport, I was greeted by the icy winds of New York City. It felt like hundreds of daggers being pierced through my skin and ice cubes forced through my ears and into my head. I literally experienced a brain freeze. It was until a while later did I realize that this December has been New York’s coldest winter in 75 years. The year I come to New York, it decides to set the record of coldest winter to date? I mean, I’m Asian. I’m from Hong Kong. I don’t do -10 celcius winters. Even the New Yorkers were bundled up in scarves and down jackets. If they find it cold, you can imagine how cold I was. Everyone knows that I’m the frailest person ever.

I celebrated my birthday twice. On my ‘official’ birthday, my parents took me to a Japanese restaurant called Nobu. And on my celebratory birthday, we went to a steakhouse with my cousins to have T-Bone steaks. The booming Italian waiters sang ‘Happy Birthday’ at the top of their voices while carrying a plate of cheesecake with a flaming candle planted in it. My dad got me a pair of Sony headphones and my mom bought me a load of random tidbits. I might take a photo of everything later. The rest of them still owe me presents. They obviously haven’t heard of my loan shark reputation.

New York is Calling

I’m going to New York in 2 days! I’m looking forward to Walmart, because that’s what America is all about. I’m just really looking forward to getting out of here. Who knows, maybe I’m going to stay there and spend the rest of my life hitchhiking across America. I don’t know how I’d survive without a cent to my name, but I’ll figure it out.

My parents have to shell out a lot of money this Christmas. When my mom heard about the tipping system, she was spewing profanities for hours, “I don’t care how rich those bastards are, I’m not paying 10% service charge!” When I get back to Hong Kong, they’re going to make me live off leftovers for a month. “After spending so much money on that crap in New York, we can’t afford those Premium US Steaks you insist on eating everyday.”

So I’m going to post my Christmas/Birthday list here, and basically, you read it, you buy it. And I’m subtly hinting people I know in real life to buy something on the list. HINT HINT. Plus I’ve sorted the list into two sections to make it easier for you all. Just in case you all think I’m a self centered narcissist, it’s my Birthday AND Christmas so I should be entitled to better gifts. It would be like Jack Black and Oprah giving birth to a baby, by combining their genetic qualities, you’d get a big fat daddy of a kid.

LIST FOR RICH BASTARDS

1. Desperate Housewives Season 3 on DVD
2. Avatar: The Last Airbender (Book 1-3) on DVD
3. Smallville Season 1 on DVD
4. Guitar Hero III (Wii)
5. The Beatles: Rock Band (Wii)
6. Super Smash Bros Brawl (Wii)
7. The Sims 3: World Adventures
8. Harajuku Lovers Fragrance Music Eau de Toilette Spray

LIST FOR CHEAP PEOPLE

1. PageOne Gift Card
2. Moleskine (18-month weekly planner)
3. Tokidoki - The Moofia
4. Sea-Monkeys from Toys R Us
5. Sharpie Fine-Tip Permanent Markers, 24-Pack Assorted Colors
6. Skittles Lip Smackers
7. Mood ring that looks like this
8. Cold Stone Ice Cream Parlor Mix Jelly Belly (Jelly Beans)
9. Humping Dog USB

Jingle Bells Batman Smells

Christmas is coming up. I’m not really all that excited because a) our tree is never decorated according to the Christmas colour scheme, b) when we have family gatherings, the family doesn’t seem all that complete because most of my cousins are in Canada and I only have one grandmother - who by the way has black hair, c) my birthday is six days before Christmas.

Like sometimes I wish we had Christmas activities at school like “draw a fat bearded man on an A3 piece of paper” instead of “create a perfectly measured ribbon wrapper according to the Pythagorean theorem”, but only the Primary kids get to do all the fun stuff. WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO. This is what happens when the Maths department is filled with imbeciles. How come the Primary kids get cool things like Fruit Day and they get to eat fruits, like the whole day and the Secondary people have lame things like Pi Day where you don’t even get pie? This is the definition of social inequality.

The only thing I’m looking forward to is going to New York, which isn’t even ~definite~ yet because my dad is thoroughly pissed off right now, even though he’s all the way in Australia. Apparently people can get pissed at you in a whole different country.

I made 4 brushes today because I’m home sick and I have nothing else better to do. One of them look a bit blurry because the scanner scanned it all wrong, so yeah.


Photoshop | Stamps


Photoshop | Stamps


Photoshop | Stamps


Photoshop | Stamps

Or go to the brushes section to download.