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Manhattan from the Sky

I haven’t blogged in ages. I stopped ever since I went to New York. Things have been a bit weird lately; I’m going through some kind of mid-life crisis. I realize that I’m 15 and I’m not middle aged yet, but I reckon if I die at 30 and 30 divided by 2 is 15, I’ve reached the middle of my life. Who says I’m not good at Math?

I’ll pick up where I left off since I didn’t write much when I was in New York. New York was great but I’m not one of those people find themselves mind blown when they arrive. If you live in the suburbs, arriving in New York would be like walking into Jurassic Park. As a city person, I know how city life works. New York is exactly like Hong Kong, only neater. I don’t know about the rest of New York, I mostly hung out in Manhattan. We didn’t get around much because we woke up at 11 every morning and when my mom got up, she locked herself in the bathroom to do god knows what. I ended up having to wait for her so I slouched off on the couch watching Degrassi on Nick. You’d think that they’d have more TV shows in America but nope, the channels are filled with the most ridiculous teen comedies. I basically started my mornings with a daily dose of cliche teen woes like bulimia and teen pregnancy. Degrassi actually reminds me of Skins only it’s set in Canada and more family-friendly.

We visited most of the tourist attractions; Rockefeller Center, Times Square and Central Park. Central Park was snowed over so it didn’t look like a park. It did have a winter vibe to it, though. But I had to sacrifice the feeling from my toes to feel the Christmas spirit. I was wearing a pair of cheap ugg boot knock offs (my dad got them from a factory in China) and they weren’t exactly waterproof. So an hour of touring around Central Park was basically dumping bucketfuls of water onto my feet. Unless you wear knee high rain boots, it’s suicide. My feet were so cold and wet from the snow they practically grew icicles. We had to take refuge in the Apple Store or my toes would’ve fallen off.

I had to take the subway to get around the city (no fancy limos for me, unfortunately) and I had doubts about getting into that dingy boxcar. There was a large contingency of shady characters wearing gangsta hoodies and they kept their heads so low you couldn’t see their faces. These types of people always seem to be the ones that pull back their hoods and whip out a gun in the movies, which is why I knew to stay clear of them. I managed to get out of there unscathed but it was still an unpleasant experience. I witnessed three skinny men who claimed that the world was going to end, they even proceeded to recite pages from the holy bible. You could tell that the guy sitting next to them was smothering the impulse to laugh. He kept shaking his head and then he turned to his friend and said, “I wish I brought an iPod.”

We also managed to watch two Broadway musicals in Time Square; Phantom of the Opera and Wicked. I liked Wicked more than Phantom, it was more light-hearted and easier to get. When I was watching Phantom of the Opera, I spent half my time trying to figure out what was going on. I get the gist of it, but the way they sang the dialogue like it was opera made it hard for me to hear. Instead of saying, “I’m about to eat this hamburger”, they would turn it into “Lalalala I aaaaam about to eeeaaat this hammmburrrrgerrrrrr oooh lalalalaa.” Now Wicked was more of a family-orientated musical, there were no creepy masked psychos trying to stalk girls. It’s about a green faced girl who befriends a popular blonde girl so it was something I could relate to on an intellectual level.

On Christmas day, we drove around New York with my cousin and his girlfriend. We ate lunch at The Palace and my cousin dutifully noted that Gossip Girl was filmed there. I don’t know how he knew that, I guess my 29-year-old male cousin watches Gossip Girl or something. He even asked me if I watched Gossip Girl and I said yeah (I’m a 15 year old teenage girl so that makes it acceptable). Then he said that his cousin, who’s a 32-year-old male, loves Gossip Girl. I couldn’t keep myself from imagining the two of them, a 29-year-old male and a 32-year-old male, discussing Gossip Girl at a bar or wherever middle-aged men hang out.

After lunch at The Palace, we went to Battery Park to look at the Statue of Liberty. All I can say about that experience is that I froze my butt off for a tiny black statue looming in the distance. I could hardly see a thing from where I was standing. We stood there, staring at this tiny black speck for 3 minutes until we decided that the tiny black speck was no longer worth our short attention span.

As nighttime drew near, we had our Christmas dinner to look forward to. My cousin doesn’t have a homey home because he lives like a college frat boy. I don’t even think he has a kitchen. So we couldn’t exactly grab a frozen turkey from the supermarket and bake it in his non-existent oven. All the Western restaurants were either fully booked or closed for the holidays so we had no choice but to go to Chinatown and eat soup dumplings for Christmas dinner. I wouldn’t put up with it because Chinese food for Christmas dinner is just blasphemous.

After 10 minutes of complaining on my part, we ended up eating our Christmas dinner in Little Italy instead (Little Italy is right next to Chinatown despite the geographical inaccuracy). The Italian restaurant was your stereotypical Italian place; black and white checkered floors, yellow wallpaper and shiny red countertops. We ordered soup, spaghetti bolognese and chicken but we forgot about the Italians and their affinity for large food proportions. The waiters came out with huge plates of spaghetti and meatballs the size of my fist. As we ate, a band comprising of two aging Italian men played over us in the dim light. The family sitting next to us requested they sing ‘White Christmas’, so they sang ‘White Christmas’ while strumming away at their banjos. The Christmas atmosphere was great, much better than sitting in a run down Chinese restaurant eating soup dumplings. After we ate, talked, laughed and abused each other in the friendly way we do, we heaved our bloated stomachs out of there. My dad was so full; his already fat stomach was fatter than usual. He had to unbutton his jeans to keep himself from bursting at the seams.

The day we left, my cousin ordered a car for us (it wasn’t a limo, just your average sedan car. I’m not upper east side enough for that). The doorman helped us load our luggage onto the car. Just as I was about to get on, the doorman came up to me and did that thing African American guys do with their ‘brothers’. Like when you jump up to someone and bump them? I don’t know if this is your typical day-to-day American life but it was weird all the same. Don’t you only do those kinds of things with your guy friends, like your homies? Anyway, he did the body bump thing and said, “You’re leaving us?” I was like uh yeah I guess. I don’t know what I should’ve said, I barely knew the guy and there he was getting over affectionate on me.

Well, here I am. Back in the land of the normal where people don’t talk to strangers or exchange small talk when they’re in the elevator. You just stare at your feet and hope no one notices your awkwardness.

Also if you haven’t noticed already, new layout! Took me ages to get this done. It’s cross browser compatible and everything. It even looked decent in IE6 the last time I checked but you never know when IE6 decides to make your layout go haywire again.

Happy Birthday to Me

It’s my birthday today! Or maybe it was yesterday. I’m still trying to get the hang of this time difference thing. I’m majorly jet-lagged and I’ve been suffering from insomnia for days. There’s an 11 hour time difference between New York and Hong Kong and my biological clock isn’t adjusting to the madness that is time difference.

When I arrived in New York yesterday morning (or maybe it was the day before yesterday, because frankly, I have no idea what day it is today), I was feeling groggy and disorientated from the 15 hour flight. My limbs were all cramped up from being crammed in a tiny seat for 15 hours. I take back what I said about flights being fun, because they’re far from it. I was listening to The Hunger Games on audiobook in attempt to fall asleep to the monotonous voices. And when I finally managed to succumb to sweet slumber, the audiobook kept on blaring in my head and then I was startled into semi-consciousness. It’s like falling asleep to the television. You’re on the sofa watching Powerpuff Girls and you dose off, but after a few minutes Mojojojo goes “I AM MOJOJOJO” and you wake up to a hypnic jerk and you’re like “HUH? WHAT?!”

The moment I stepped out of that airport, I was greeted by the icy winds of New York City. It felt like hundreds of daggers being pierced through my skin and ice cubes forced through my ears and into my head. I literally experienced a brain freeze. It was until a while later did I realize that this December has been New York’s coldest winter in 75 years. The year I come to New York, it decides to set the record of coldest winter to date? I mean, I’m Asian. I’m from Hong Kong. I don’t do -10 celcius winters. Even the New Yorkers were bundled up in scarves and down jackets. If they find it cold, you can imagine how cold I was. Everyone knows that I’m the frailest person ever.

I celebrated my birthday twice. On my ‘official’ birthday, my parents took me to a Japanese restaurant called Nobu. And on my celebratory birthday, we went to a steakhouse with my cousins to have T-Bone steaks. The booming Italian waiters sang ‘Happy Birthday’ at the top of their voices while carrying a plate of cheesecake with a flaming candle planted in it. My dad got me a pair of Sony headphones and my mom bought me a load of random tidbits. I might take a photo of everything later. The rest of them still owe me presents. They obviously haven’t heard of my loan shark reputation.

New York is Calling

I’m going to New York in 2 days! I’m looking forward to Walmart, because that’s what America is all about. I’m just really looking forward to getting out of here. Who knows, maybe I’m going to stay there and spend the rest of my life hitchhiking across America. I don’t know how I’d survive without a cent to my name, but I’ll figure it out.

My parents have to shell out a lot of money this Christmas. When my mom heard about the tipping system, she was spewing profanities for hours, “I don’t care how rich those bastards are, I’m not paying 10% service charge!” When I get back to Hong Kong, they’re going to make me live off leftovers for a month. “After spending so much money on that crap in New York, we can’t afford those Premium US Steaks you insist on eating everyday.”

So I’m going to post my Christmas/Birthday list here, and basically, you read it, you buy it. And I’m subtly hinting people I know in real life to buy something on the list. HINT HINT. Plus I’ve sorted the list into two sections to make it easier for you all. Just in case you all think I’m a self centered narcissist, it’s my Birthday AND Christmas so I should be entitled to better gifts. It would be like Jack Black and Oprah giving birth to a baby, by combining their genetic qualities, you’d get a big fat daddy of a kid.

LIST FOR RICH BASTARDS

1. Desperate Housewives Season 3 on DVD
2. Avatar: The Last Airbender (Book 1-3) on DVD
3. Smallville Season 1 on DVD
4. Guitar Hero III (Wii)
5. The Beatles: Rock Band (Wii)
6. Super Smash Bros Brawl (Wii)
7. The Sims 3: World Adventures
8. Harajuku Lovers Fragrance Music Eau de Toilette Spray

LIST FOR CHEAP PEOPLE

1. PageOne Gift Card
2. Moleskine (18-month weekly planner)
3. Tokidoki - The Moofia
4. Sea-Monkeys from Toys R Us
5. Sharpie Fine-Tip Permanent Markers, 24-Pack Assorted Colors
6. Skittles Lip Smackers
7. Mood ring that looks like this
8. Cold Stone Ice Cream Parlor Mix Jelly Belly (Jelly Beans)
9. Humping Dog USB