High Expectations Chinese Teacher

As you all know, my Chinese teacher is a bit of a raving dictator on steroids. On the first day of school, she started going on about how anything below an A- is unacceptable and if you get anything less, you will have to spend your lunchtimes with her. Everyone started freaking out because who wants to spend their lunch being berated by someone whose nostrils flare to the size of windpipes every time she shouts?

It was enough listening to her rant on and on about getting nothing less than an ‘A’ on our exams, but we had to sit there in the freezing cold while she was doing it. I don’t know if the Chinese teacher was raised by polar bears in the Antarctic or whatever because she’s always turning the air-con on to a temperature I’d like to call “So high you can’t feel your fingers and you think you’re going to get frost bite”.

One of the girls mustered up the courage to tell her that it was too cold and asked her whether she could turn the air-con off. Then the Chinese teacher shouted, “IT IS NOT TOO COLD, YOU GUYS ARE TALKING TOO MUCH IT IS MAKING ME HOT!”


I have no idea why our talking made her hot, it’s not like anyone said anything sensual. But nevertheless, she refused to turn the air-con off so we all had to sit there in the freezing cold for an hour while she kept yapping on about how we all “NEEDED TO GET AN A+ OR WE FAIL”.


What is up with Asian teachers and their high expectations?

Incept Me

School is starting tomorrow. I’m kind of in denial right now because I have an extreme aversion to anything related to school. I’ve been freaking out ever since I came to the realization that school would be starting on August the 20th. And by ‘freak out’, I don’t mean I’ve been running screaming “NOO SCHOOL IS STARTING MY LIFE IS OVER!”. I’ve just been stuck in this phase I’d like call ‘whatever mode’ where I’m all like whatevezzz it’s cool but inside, I’m like omgomgomg I’m going to quit school, just screw the educational system because I’m going to become a nun.

I’ve been spending my final week as a free human doing very enlightening things such as:

1) Having ‘How I Met Your Mother’ marathons
2) Eating…food
3) Ringing the doorbell really loudly to get the neighbour’s dog to bark
4) Contemplating eating the neighbour’s dog because he looks like a wad of cotton candy
5) Having Harry Potter wand duels with my dad using our iPhones

Plus today, I watched ‘Inception’ in the theaters and it was pretty amazing. I thought I was going to get really confused as most Christopher Nolan movies tend to have that effect on me but it was surprisingly confusion-free for most parts. The movie really gets you thinking about what’s real and what’s not. I mean, for all we know, we could be living in a dream. At the end of the movie, I was like WHERE AM I? WHAT IS THIS? AM I DREAMING ABOUT DREAMING ABOUT WATCHING INCEPTION OR AM I REALLY WATCHING INCEPTION OR IS THIS MOVIE A DREAM WHERE IM DREAMING ABOUT BEING IN THE CINEMA DREAMING ABOUT WATCHING A MOVIE WHERE PEOPLE GO INTO PEOPLES DREAMS.

Even before watching ‘Inception’, I’ve had thoughts of whether I might be living in a dream. There was this once when I had the idea that I might actually be in a coma and I’m living in a dream that I’m having while in a comatose state. So one day I’ll wake up and years have gone by and there’s this big chunk of my life that never existed.

So anyway I’m going to go to sleep now because it’s Doomsday aka First Day of School tomorrow. Hopefully, when I go to bed, I’ll either wake up to a better reality or be trapped in a dream where everything is really awesome.

Miss Hong Kong

So I watched Miss Hong Kong live at the Hong Kong Coliseum on Sunday because my mom had tickets. It was actually the second time I’ve watched it on stage, the last time I went, I was 5 so I fell asleep (I was a big sleeper back then, you could scream into my ear and I would still be sleeping). I don’t really remember what happened the last time I went since I was unconscious.

I never liked Miss Hong Kong pageants because a) it’s sexist, b) the girls seem so shallow and superficial and c) most of the contenders look like plastics. The girls people consider ‘pretty’ are usually these cheap looking girls with fake/plastic faces. I can’t even tell the difference between some of them because they’re all like freaking Bratz dolls.

The show mainly consisted of the girls doing these really retarded things that made me want to cringe. Like in the beginning, they did a candy ‘dance’ where they kicked their feet around and brought their fingers up to their lips and winked at the camera. But personally, I don’t see anything attractive about posing like Doctor Evil.


The whole thing was like watching a live action Cardcaptor Sakura or one of those anime shows where the girls ‘transform’. It’s cute when it’s an anime but when you do that stuff in real life, it gets a bit creepy.

The worst part was when they had to walk around in skimpy bikinis and answer questions that are supposedly relevant to society like “Should kids wear bikinis to school?”. The fact that they’re asked such callous questions is a travesty in itself, but then they have to stand there in a bikini while they’re answering them. It’s like they’re walking sex furniture or something.

Half way through the pageant, there were these performances by some famous people (who you probably won’t know unless you live in Hong Kong or watch TVB).


This looks like an orgy scene but it’s actually Raymond Lam, Kate Tsui and Ron Ng performing a song
Then after that, Kevin Cheng and Raymond Wong appeared in a white sports car and started singing something that didn’t sound half bad and past Miss HK winners came on stage to dance with them


The girls posing at the front are the past Miss Hong Kong winners. I can only recognize Aimee Chan, Mandy Cho and Tracy Ip. Kevin Cheng and Raymond Wong are the guys standing next the white sports car, surrounded by slutty dancers
Near the end, as they were about to call out the final four, all the girls started crying because they said they would really miss each other. And the old man sitting in front of us was like “WOW THAT’S REALLY SEXY. I AM SO TURNED ON RIGHT NOW!” The security guard thought he was a pedophile so he went up to him and asked to see his tickets.

Anyway, after a lot of weeping and drum rolls, they announced the 2010 Miss Hong Kong…


She’s one of the better looking ones in the competition but her smile still creeps me out
So even though I’m not a big fan of Miss Hong Kong pageants, it’s kind of a guilty pleasure because it’s good to know who wins as the winners usually go on to become celebrities and when they’re all famous you can be like “I KNEW HER BEFORE SHE WAS FAMOUS HAHA LOSERS.” Plus you get to make fun of the weird things they have on set like this unicorn: